Jesus, Teti, nice job with this piece.

Yeah, word. Like, in 1998 they're suggesting Clooney should've won for Out of Sight, but really Ed Norton should've won for American History X. (Benigni actually won, so…whoops.)

RUN THE JEWELS ARE A BUNCH OF PUSSIES

As @stepped_pyramids:disqus alludes to below, "red" is also the safe word for all kink.com videos (is what I heard from a friend) and also for the dude who grinds pepper on your salad at Olive Garden, sooooo I don't know.

IDRIS ELBA OR GTFO

I GOT A QUEENSRŸCHE NOTIFICATION FOR THIS!!!!!!

You just had your one million-dollar idea.

Me too.

She's PLENTY goth. Nobody underSTANDS her. She's got DARKNESS, you ASSHOLE.

That was my first thought too, which is a sure sign that neither of us understand the world at all.

He sounds like a beauty pageant contestant. "And such as, artistry, and I feel that the…monumental, and thusly…"

Fuck's sake, Banks, you wanna warn me about Ivanhoe spoilers?

Why not Woody Allen? He likes kids.

As long as the Power Pack movie is still on someone's radar.

Mine contained the word "stupid".

I don't now about the Store (it's in LA) but we went to Comedy Cellar in NYC last month. That's the brick wall place from the intro to Louis' show. We got reservations; they were not hard to get, but crucial. While we were in line (in line!) we saw tons of hopeful walkins get turned away for the Saturday night 8:00…

WTF, guys, recognize Brother Voodoo when you see him.

That makes sense!

“Slavery continues to be in the cultural zeitgeist"

I have a level of optimism about things.