Michael Bay is still married to his 'splosions. Nothing ex about them.

14 stories is 14 more than he had when he started making these movies.

Oh. I thought you were asking about whiskey shots.

Hey now…

I'll take my puns like I take my whiskey. Just a little ice.

"It's always been 'in'."

Snow what? No one cares.

I was hoping Joaquin Phoenix would be in it. I could watch him and DDL walk around hunched over snarling, and mumbling at each other for four hours.

I have about a half-dozen Valerian left over from when I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I can sell you them, if you'd like.

"Bottle" is a cute pet name I use for @Kirk Cameron LMB's mom.

That sounds like a great website. Wish I knew which one it was.

I've been looking for my lost years under bottles for awhile now.

Oh there you guys are! For a second I thought I got lost again…

I don't know….the sheer creativity of Bears fans when it comes to Jay Cutler insults can be pretty unbelievable.

I feel about the oxford comma about the same way I feel about proper capitalization.

I'll just write them off as a loss, so I can put off paying them for the next 19 years.

That's not true. He did say he wasn't sure if his infant daughter would blossoms into a full busted hot chick. Which technically is true. No one could know that.

You can just put them on my tab.

That was a slice one!

I thought Brett Ratner was the good ass-movie guy.