I broke up with a girl once, because she insisted on rolling down the window of the car in the dead of winter to smoke.

There's a vaping … lounge, I guess….in a small town near me called The Vaper Room.

Way to make America Great Again, San Diego State!

Savor every last drop.

Just take up drinking. The coolest looking people always have a glass of bourbon in their hand.

The number of stores popping up that cater to these people just amazes me. I guess I'm just old, but I remember a time when the first place you'd look for in a new town was the local bar.

Used to be you could punch a guy in the face, smoking a cigar and the cigar would take the brunt of it, a la Otis in Mayberry. Now you punch a guy in the face with and e-cig and that hard metal pipe goes through the back of his throat.

It's not really that funny, I'm still pretty drunk this morning.

I got it, Oh hahahahhahaha The Fit Tit!

What the hell do I care? I'm old enough.

I prefer to drink Hooch, but to each their own, I guess.

I like the way their legs kick when you scratch their bellies.

It's called Zima.

To be fair, the couch was a better actress.

Well, he does call it his "Dangling Chad".

Oh sure, he sends them an espresso machine and it makes the news. Scott Baio sends them dick pics and not a single mention.

He did seem a little antsy in Money Pit.

Gross. He got mind all over my keyboard.

But what if she gives us all a free health care plan under our seats?

That's what is so great about the oceans. They're basically giant public restrooms.