To paraphrase somone's recent tweet:
Would you prefer a Michael Lohan-type as a father or a Mel Gibson-type as a spouse?

And The Band Played On
In this version, as the women and children get into the lifeboats a slumming Diddy stays behind to freestyle over a boombox playing a hip-hop version of "Nearer My God To Thee."

In Other Old Spice News
Not to be outdone Terry Crews, the intense actor from the other series of Old Spice commercials signed up to appear as Friar Laurence opposite Gwyneth Paltrow's Juliet in the New York Repertorie Theater's Shakespeare in The Park Series production of Romeo and Juliet:

I Grok Nimoy
So I bought a T-Shirt from his website for a friend's birthday. A few hours later he tweeted his thanks, name-checking me. He ended with LLAP (Live Long And Prosper).
I felt inexplicably good for the rest of the day, like I'd been blessed by some alien space pope. Nimoy rocks.

Bad timing
And he said this on Tisha B'Av of all days. The day commemorating the tragedies that have befallen the Jewish people. This whole thing is farcockteh!

Hicks Nix Chick's Licks
I don't think the Country Music fanbase will respond wel…

I don't know what all of you are talking about with this "4th Indiana Jones Movie" There is no 4th movie, this Crystal Skull stuff is all bollocks, a lie. The series ended with Last Crusade. Full Stop. I will not be convinced otherwise.

The Average American Needs Their Own Shoe-Based Movie
I propose "Crocs: The Movie"

Greatest Dead Song Thread: Go!
Franklin's Tower

The magic plug that Desmond removes and Jack puts back.

Tonight's show comes live from the tiny village of Rabid in Buckinghamshire, and our first question tonight is from a Mrs Elizabeth Scrint who says she is going on a Mediterranean cruise next week and can't find anything wrong with the Syrians. Well, Mrs Scrint, apart from being totally unprincipled left-wing…

And there's only, like, 6 reviews.
I'm going to start my own Twitter meme: One word descriptions of countries. Let's start with Europe!

"Spanish Ladies" is my ringtone, no shit. The "Yankee Version", of course.

A Pee-Wee-esqe Fate
Biker #2: [the whole gang holds Polanski hostage] I say we kill him!
Biker Gang: [shout] Yeah!
Biker #3: I say we hang him, *then* we kill him!
Biker Gang: [shout] Yeah!
Biker #4: I say we stomp him!
Biker Gang: [shout] Yeah!
Biker #4: Then we tattoo him!
Biker Gang: [shout] Yeah!
Biker #4: Then we…

Zed's Dead, baby.
He designed the scent several years ago, but has been keeping a bottle of it up Christopher Walken's ass for "ageing" purposes.

Exactly, he loves picking fights. But when the arguments make it into the mainstream (outside of his cloistered blog) the public at large responds with pity. (Look at the comments section of HuffPo, The Nation, or Salon, when stories about something he said comes up. You'll see debate, yes, but also a solid dose of…

Ebert's Game
I said it before and I'll say it again: It was all a ruse on Ebert's part.
My guess is that Roger Ebert is tired of being eulogized because of his current medical condition when he is still, very much in fact, alive and feisty as ever. Whenever someone dared challenge him on a point, the backlash against…

Esophageal Cancer
My grandfather died from esophageal cancer. Let's just say that this particular one doesn't have the greatest survival rate.

A weak reduction…
This all started when Redd Foxx was named Inter-Borough Creative Consultant for Ripple.

5ith!
5ithsies!