That WAS a crime. Don't Emancipate those people, Evil Lincoln. (ps: loved your motorcycle jumps. the uber-patriotic shit I could have done without)

I would vote for him in a second but the instructions are too hard. Or somebody else, but the instructions are also too hard.

"Mister Moonlight" DIDN'T MAKE THE LIST??? The very worst song they ever made DIDN'T MAKE THE LIST??? Go back and see Doctor Robert…and when you come down, apologize for much of this list. The worst song on it is still better than 95 percent of other bands' entire Catalogs.

"She Loves You" is not there? I'm going to have a tequila.

Have you considered that your kids might be on drugs?

How blessed you are. If it weren't against some commandment and divine retribution weren't on the table, I'd envy you.

Shai Halud was really a Walrus? Christ!!!

Retire, Brian. Take the money and run. Write novels. Masturbate frequently. Just go away.

Or he could just take the fortune he's made and give the fuck up, make room for younger and more talented people to get their films into theatres he's clogging with his shit.

And Anthony Perkins was outside the shower with a bloody knife.
(by the way, has anybody else noticed that David Schwimmer looks enough like him to play Tony Perkins in a biopic? doesn't have the acting chops for it, but looks like him.)

But what if Tony Soprano ended up on that cliff doing yoga and Dick Whitman ended up in the diner? How would you have explained it then?
Oh yeah. Teleportation. I forgot.

I had a friend who wished for a tremendous dong. Then he met a 19-year-old girl with one. Guess he grew to like it; they moved in together after 12 hours, got rid of their toasters and bought one they named "Ours" and just adopted a guinea pig together, so it must be Love. (as long as the guinea pig stays the fuck…

I can't help but think about the Duggars without thinking of the health benefits of nerve gas.

I just want to say that I truly love your name. And also that I thank the Great Magnet that it isn't 'TheManofYourDreamsAbout FacialRingworm.

MY GOD. What a beautiful comment. You really are God, Bob.

Well, don't keep us in suspense…did you and the bear marry? Are you still together after all these years? Any cubs? Own a Prius?

You do NOT speak of a Bass God like that, blasphemous snarltwat. Go to your room and don't play with yourself.

Get out the ouija board. I'd like to know what Otis would think about the line "It’s a record that paved the way for hip-hop music and culture." Gotta wonder if the kid from Georgia would appreciate that.

That's silly. It's evil, psychically weighs over 200,000 pounds and couldn't be carried by anyone but Hulk Wallenda, who's not even in the family business. You'd have to load it into a B-52 and drop it on an enemy city. Indianauseous, for example.

And they hardly touched the surface: his training as a clown gives the guy a deep well to draw from. Truly an underrated talent. He's so good he could damn near play Maria in the Sound of Music and pull it off.