Call me sentimental, but Nothing warms my heart more than a scalper losing money.

As a crochety old SOB, I resent that. Even with my massive hearing loss from listening, you goddam kids should be able to penetrate the isolation booth around me with your damned musical energy!

I call the big one Bitey. (Matt Groening's favorite)
Nice work, Marge. That was our only burlesque house. -and- I am the Lizard Queen! (my daughter's faves)
I took on your father's DNA when we married. (wife's fave)
Duff Man. Can't Breathe. Oh yeahhh. -and- Nobody's gay for Moleman. -and- You…

You call those QUOTES??

"Duffman…can't breathe…oh yeah."
Still one of the greatest lines in all the Simpsons Universe.

And his three or four other porn actresses are all named John.

Get back to us when you have a dozen Johnsons, South of Medusa Sparkly Person.

I started reading this article because I'd only heard the name Tommy Wiseau a couple of times before but have never seen him. Now I'm sorry I ever heard of him and want to forget his name as quickly as I can, because Dick Cheney has for years been my bellwether for "fucking nutcake". This loser may top him, and I…

Especially when I'm the filling between the two layers of Egg Ladies!

Affluent Bitchy Cabtroll.

I think the adjective was 'Nubby'…in otherwords, a demi-Knob.

Better to say "famouser". They had already had four hit singles or so in a row at that point.

NOPE. He was seduced by his intended girlfriend's mother. Ya damn non-whippersnapper.

Isn't everyone? Including the Brits?

Even 'American Clusterfuck'?

Roseanne Barr's version of Cleopatra was better than Liz Taylor's.

Of COURSE I can dunk. I'm a white man, Porgy!

All you people are bitching about film titles not being good enough. What kind of true film lover GIVES A SHIT as long as the film is better than the title?? Personally, I thought 'Christy's Pulsing Quim XIV' was a lousy title—it was mostly oral because of the junior hockey teams—but at least I had the good taste not…

Can someone explain why she should be listened to as an expert on comedy? This isn't a put-down, but what I've seen of her didn't give much credence to the weight of her opinion, y'know?

At the risk of being called nasty names, I would take Salma Hayek. I realize she's much more than a prop, but she's the one thing I'd really like to have from the movies.
Or the Charger from the chase scene in Bullitt…before it stops the for gas, of course.