Hon, God speaks to me in the voice of Zach Galafianakis, and Jesus speaks to me in the voice of Bob Barker, and the Holy Spirit speaks to me in the voice of Cyndi Lauper. And choirs of angels just sound like choirs, but louder.

Hon, God speaks to me in the voice of Zach Galafianakis, and Jesus speaks to me in the voice of Bob Barker, and the Holy Spirit speaks to me in the voice of Cyndi Lauper. And choirs of angels just sound like choirs, but louder.

Maybe I was making the comment that this is what liberals are like: they want you to ignore all the grandparents and handicapped people they kill with their death panels and all the babies they're trying to force mothers to abort, but don't you dare leave a letter out of your name. That's unthinkable!! :)!!

I'm sorry, Mexican Blade Runner, but I'm a happily married woman with a great big bear of a husband who satisfies all of my sexual needs all night long, and makes me a fulfilled Christian woman. You might make me scream, but that would be with laughter over your inferior foreign parts. ;)!

Exactly the sort of sour review I'd expect from the life-hating, family-unfriendly, one-child-per-family-authorizing liberal main-stream media. You go, Sarah P.!! You can be my vice-president any day!!

Claudia, I like you so much! I wish you a long and happy marriage to a virile and thoroughly heterosexual man, and a large family, providing that the Obama Communist regime doesn't immediately crack down on child-bearing and establish a one-child per family policy. Which they'll definitely do if Obama gets a second…

I hate to be a negative Nellie here, but sometimes foster children just need a good exorcism, especially if they're attracted to the wrong sex or ask about contraception. It's worked wonders for several of my girls!!

Marcus Bachmann is a rugged, woman-loving man who enjoys nothing more than giving his stunningly attractive wife The Big One.

I totally agree with you, Bruiser Brody! Ron Paul is bad for America! He's liberal and secular and he has crazy eyes!!

And let's be honest, honey. They've never really loved you. They may think they love you, but only true Christians can really feel love.

Weirder than talking about an interview with somebody who wrote a television program that hasn't aired yet?

That's funny, hon. But seriously, we don't believe in mixing males and females before marriage. Unlike many liberals, we're against rape and premarital sex and what have you.

You know, honey, you may be a sexist, alcoholic, self-absorbed slut, but you have a real gift for changing the subject. Maybe you could be the next Bill Clinton or Newt Gingrich.

You know what would be a good show, Theresa Rebeck? A show about a dedicated Christian wife and mother who's trying to keep little babies from being killed in their mothers' wombs and who has 27 foster children and a passionate wholesome, Christian relationship with her extremely heterosexual husband who just happens…

"Obama, Elitist Trash, Satan, and Anti-Americanism on the AV Club Comment Board: Misogyny, Defensiveness, and Dismissiveness in an Insular Discourse Community"

Worst article title ever?

Thanks, but no thanks, my liberal, condescending, blasphemous friend. I have a couple of balls I can play with anytime I want, and I'm quite confident they're bigger than anything you can offer me.

The Gray - Heroic former Speaker of the House (Liam Neeson) fights the liberal lamestream media and his own sordid sex-addicted past in his quest to triumph over a pretty-boy RINO and defeat THE WORST PRESIDENT IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES EVER who is also a SECRET MUSLIM who is DEDICATED TO DESTROYING THE…

Just the response I'd expect from somebody cocooned within the lamestream media version of reality. Real Americans defy you and your nanny-state values!

What does the phrase "Fun Fun Fact!!! :)!!" make you want to cut off?