U Mad Bro?

@avclub-500e75a036dc2d7d2fec5da1b71d36cc:disqus

Are you black?

Oh that's good! Dried up racist white women would totally dig my story.

I can't decide whether I rather have it be a big summer blockbuster (directed by Michael Bay, natch) or an artsy-fartsy indie movie like Fruityville Station (or whatever the fuck it's called), except, you know, from the good guy's perspective.

When do I get my movie?

Sharknado 2: The Story of George Zimmerman

#Takebackourcountry #Donttreadonmyguns

I eat when I'm stressed!

But if you looked behind you, you would see that I am already following you in an unmarked car with, just, gosh, I don't even know how many guns.

At least I can still carry a gun around and get into wacky self-defense shenanigans. That's what makes America great!

I like bears!

Well, I've got a tiny penis. But that could either be a curse or a blessing.

Come on, we're on the same team!

You're not my dad!!!!!!

Ahem.

Hey now, Guns & Ammo is great and everything, but it's no Rolling Stone.

Reaaaalllllyyyyyy. Can you hook a guy up?

That was a close one, wasn't it? PHEW.

Aw shucks, guys! I was really hoping I would make the cover, after everything I went through!