You could knockout Joel's two wishes with one stone by seeing REM open for the Police on the synchronicity tour like me. Downsides:

This is totally true.  My kids can totally sing those minecraft parodies since they have youtube running in the background while they play.  Those song are super popular.

It is a good song.  Fuck lyrics.  What did they ever do for you?

Watch out guys:
 William Lie Zeckendorf, a prominent real-estate investor along with
his brother Arthur and a devout Beatles fan, heads a group of New York
audiophiles, including Mr. Kallman, who host play dates to listen to
records on high-quality stereo equipment. The parties get raucous: Mr.
Zeckendorf, 54, once…

I saw deafheaven live last week.  Holy shit.  The lead singer had a skinhead, wore skinny black SS clothes with black leather gloves and was doing some modified one handed nazi salute the whole time while singing lyrics that sounded like "die, die, die".  Dad rock isn't so bad. 

I go to see bands based on random internet recommendations or good album reviews w/o ever listening to any of their music all the time.  Get out of the house and listen to a new band while drinking beer.  What is the problem?