[scale of lap immediately makes huge check look like a tiny fortune cookie piece of paper]

Shit. That reminds me.

And Audrey Louerbach Tautou

Look at all these archery puns.

Starring Robert Longdon.

"Suppose… I were to offer you one million dollars for one kiss on your wife's pooper."

I watched a sexy Knights Templar movie last night on Cinemax

Geena Davis.

Take a bow.

To play Hitler? Sure.

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints.
Other times there were one set of footprints.

Hanging wet laundry?

Toll Taking Toll Takers

"Huh huh, breast."

I'd watch a TV movie about Hawkeye hunting down Hitler.

Are you the one who keeps reviewing me on Sex Yelp?

Don't stick your dick in grey hair.

"In the weasel justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the lawyers, who prosecute crime; and the jury duty, who hit on Tia Carrere. These are their stories."

If I were you, I would stifle my eagerness.

*Billy tries to slice his wrists open*
*It turns out to be a novelty razor blade that plays "Mandy"*
*Chief Bromden farts laughing*