"Wow, pop. That fart stunk worse than the decisions I made after I won my Oscar."

Not really sure how you would want to be "the most famous guy in witness protection".

The only thing Paul Sorvino will be slicing razor-thin will be the post-appetizer farts.

I remember Henry Hill used to go on Stern and guys would call in and say that he was a flaming homosexual when he was a mob guy.

You know how to whistle don't you? Just put your lips together and slice your wrist in the bathtub.

"Rosebud."

You will believe a Copacabana can fly!

I'm gonna take my medication for OCD.

I'm just stirring the sauce of discussion.

For as long as I can remember, I always wanted to bored by an awkward panel discussion with senile old men.

The Felt and the Fury

*Dr. Phil burps*

That was ElDan.

As a hustler.

"Now, kids. Take a dollar out of your mommy's purse and mail them to me."

You mean when Janice blew up that nuke down in the hatch?

They'll be playing at Coachella.

Thanks a lot, death of Internet Explorer!

Especially mine. Some good stuff.

The 10 millionth customer? Sigma Alpha Epsilon.