"So I heard that you and Lee Marvin once had a tree climbing contest."

Here's the Reed interview:

You could stand to lose a few pounds…

"Sometimes, though, I try to come up with better punchlines, which isn't really that hard."

You can still watch it, you know? A.A. Dowd might be wrong.

Sorry to nitpick, but there's no such thing as a "non-fiction novel"…

Your mom hates it. That's why she's got my seed inside her belly…

I was gonna say, it seems kind of weird that they're starting the olympics mid-week…

FLAGGED (for obscenity)

He comments here, so maybe he'll drop by and fill you in.

Don't leave us hanging: are you being honest?

I'm shooting the Deputy Premier of Ontario in the face right now.

I JUST DID! I JUST DID!!!

He's sounding more and more like Woody Tobias Jr….

The best opening comment in AV Club history. It's like Alan Partridge decided to start posting here.

Hey, everyone! Check out Ronald Reagan over here laying his War On Drugs on us!

I don't even own a Super Bowl!

I should introduce you to the Syrian dude who lives down the street from me. He can do that thing where it looks like you pull the end of your thumb off…

No, DVDs are more like laser discs than records…

The Book of Eli is pretty bad too.