Teaching witch-burning is the reason I got fired from my job with [REDACTED] Public Schools.

It was about that time that I realized that @avclub-f41c98ac606e9b29fce2d59f71df434d:disqus was actually a giant crustacean from the Paleozoic Era.

Being Jefe del Estado doesn't pay what it used to.

"Sick white kids eat through a tube like this…
But sick black kids eat through a tube like this."

Kids in hospitals don't have the opportunity to learn about dildos from their parents like God intended.

All proceeds will go toward funding my reality show about celebrity ping pong.

"If she'd lived, I hope Anne Frank would have been co-mayor of Gay Town."

This will be my legacy.

"Something about a paradigm shift."

They pay sickness to visit healthy kids, to make it easier for actors to find sick kids to visit.

Happened Years Ago; No Action

Bourbon and The Shield binges for the motherfucking win.

I will never stop loving the Macc Lads. I used to put "Sweaty Betty" on birthday mix tapes for people. Because I am an asshole.

The Macc Lads already titled an album From Beer to Eternity, and that was 25 years ago. Fuck you, Al.

Well, all that backlash about the rape comments led him to continue sharing his thoughts with the world.

Yeah, his fart has a totally different smell in this one.

In my butt?

I love both shows but I gotta go with The Shield. Granted, I think it's the best show of all time, but that's because it outstrips anything else in terms of getting my heart rate up and giving me "HOLY FUCKING SHIT" moments. I get more tense and uptight watching Breaking Bad, but as far as pure gut-punches go it's The…

The A.V. Club
This Kanye West commercial

Some of us are into that.