dan brown
sucks. larry brown however, does not suck.

sarcasm is the weakest, lowest form of humor. it's not clever, it's not witty. being sarcastic is like ending every sentence with ", idiot." if you are described or describe yourself as sarcastic, chances are you are a gaping asshole.

inspiral carpets
when i was a sophomore at UT back in 91-92, i was living in some shitty apartments on riverside behind The Back Room (rip). one afternoon, i threw an ancient and foul gallon jug of milk, discus style, without looking off of our balcony from the living room. kind of david letterman style. my…

eh, who ever heard of a self-hating jew. you made that shit up.

i remember that. it was the hottest thing i'd ever seen.

the answer is almost always "lines of coke."

lopez and mencia should have fought to the death. and then the winner should have been stabbed.

@lazer: i'm glad i Ctrl-F'd that same joke i was about to make before i posted it. excellent work.

pride & prejudice & zombies
suuuhuhuhuhucked. hilarious and very timely idea, but the execution was Shit T. shoddy. the clown that wrote this had a golden opportunity to leave his mark on zombie lore, and he pissed it away. like letting biggs take the shot at the deathstar's poop chute, a complete waste.

i'm shocked that not one single reviewer has mentioned the one truly groundbreaking aspect of avatar. michelle rodrigues's performance as a tough talking woman that likes guns was a landmark in american cinema and establishes this brilliant actress's incredible talent and versatility. i can't wait for her next film.…

this pos laptop is missing an S key and has these dark bands across the display. sorry about the typos.

apu trilogy=the one where he realizess he needs the kwik-e-mart, the one where he becomes a citizen, and the one where he gets married.

nah i watched it again last week and i still think it's great. zero effect justifies bill pullman's career. that and that one scene in mr wrong where joan cusack says he is so bitchin'.

i bet the piss club seals no better than a walgreens neti pot lid. which sucks since you would have to turn it upside down to put it into your bag. of course, if anyone ever actually used this thing they would just immediately dump it out on the ground wherever they are before putting it away. unless you keep your…

i would just sing i'm walking on sunshine. woah oh oh.

i wasn't at all surprised that dumbledore died. but then, i was one of the very few people that had seen a movie called "star wars."

do it zetes.

i know one thing. i will never, ever fuck with a chimp. fucking ever. i'm astounded that anything can so completely and utterly ruin my shit without killing me. remember when mj ditched bubbles because he was showing aggression towards his children? say what you want about jacko's judgement, but a bullet to the…

i also vote for pushing daisies and i would add my name is earl. they both made me feel good when i watched them.

nice try, blog ad man.