The only one they didn't really capture at all is Jesse.

Hey, I'm a perfectly straight dude and Nick Offerman IS totally dreamy. The entire male cast of Parks & Rec is dreamy, in fact! Except Jerry. Stupid Jerry.

Hey, I'm a perfectly straight dude and Nick Offerman IS totally dreamy. The entire male cast of Parks & Rec is dreamy, in fact! Except Jerry. Stupid Jerry.

Two other words: Zero Effect. Look it up, kiddies!

Two other words: Zero Effect. Look it up, kiddies!

Cancel Community + Parks & Rec and you've lost an 18-49 household of two for our remaining 18 years, NBC!

Holy shit any of you are taking this guy seriously? "White women's whiteness trumps their gender"? The hell?

I watched Homicide from season 3 on, Mr. Simon. And you'll forgive me for not getting there sooner—I was 13 years old at the time and people weren't exactly shoving the show down my throat. Anyways, I got my whole family hooked on it. I like to think I was like a little butterfly who flapped its wings and at the end…

I also like Silversun Pickups and I'm pretty sick of hearing them described as Smashing Pumpkins 2.0. I know the guy's voice is kinda Corgan-ish and they got buzzy guitars but having listened to pretty much everything both bands have put out, they sound nothing alike to me.

Beyond psyched for more Japandroids, and I'm pretty sure it won't just be more of the same. The post-Post-Nothing singles are awesome and they've been touring hard. In my mind they got a solid three albums in them before they start running out of steam. I hope, at least.

Fun fact: a venn diagram showing people who think contraception is immoral because every sperm is sacred and people who won't vote for Romney because he's a polygamist cult member will include a huge amount of overlap. And both groups are tiny compared to the voting population of the good ol' USA.

Andre Braugher was nominated for a few best actors, and won at least once (for the man under the train episode). Was it really never nominated for best drama? Crazy. It won a couple Peabodys.

Startled wallpaper was the biggest laugh Family Guy has gotten from me in a long time.

60-year-olds been boning 18-year-olds since the dawn of time, hon! First you get the dowry, then you get the consent of the patriarch, then you get the women!

Quagmire is a pederast at worst. Know the meaning of the words you use!

Honestly I'm as nerdy as you can get and I can't stand Weird Al. I don't think he's funny and I don't like polka. Seems like a cool guy, just can't get behind his artistic output (UHF was sort of funny when I watched it 15 years ago).

Future "David O. Russell Walks Out" Headlines: "David O. Russell Tries to Walk Out of Court, Slowed by Shackles and Tackled by Bailiff"; "David O. Russell Walks Out of Prison Shower, Gingerly."

This is the most generic argument I've ever read the first half of.

Glenn Greenwald also wrote a report (for the Cate Institute!) about Portugal's decriminalization plan and how effective it's been. Is this the sort of place where you can start a flame war just by saying "Glenn Greenwald"? I hope so!

I was pissed that *spoiler?* his son ends up being alive at the end. We saw him walk into an enormous fireball. The kid is dead. We're all at least 13 years old so we should be able to deal with it.