We played it safe and kicked 'em both out.

Also, we don't have Lyft here. We kicked 'em outta town for being too rape-y.

He shoulda taken her to Alamo Drafthouse. Then he could have just passive-aggressively ratted her out to the waitstaff and they could have taken her ass out for him. Doesn't solve his ride home problem, but it'd be worth it for the laugh.

I've probably seen the movie a dozen times, too. But not that shot! Nope! I cover my eyes like a baby.

When Lance Henriksen squashes that dude's head like a melon in Dead Man. Eucch…

Excellent choice of art. Cloris Leachman is more legit god to me than any others the world has come up with so far.

Nice try, Lizzardiyan queen! We know you just couldn't gnaw through that thing without your fake hue-mann teeth coming loose and revealing your intergalactic reptilian fangs…

¡Viva Unikitty!
¡Viva Univision!

In this version, the whole third act is 40 straight minutes of Kroenen just stabbing. the. fuck. out of Prof. Broome.

(I'm assuming it's a Pac-Man adaptation, but from the POV of the ghosts, see?)

I never would have expected them to cast Adam Scott as Blinky, though!

That's my fault, I deserved that…

Ska?!?

AIDE (after three hours of explanation): …and that's the difference between "sexy" and "sexist", got it?

Yeah, I figured he wasn't going to be in the new one, but he was one (of many) OG cast members to croak in the last year.

Spicey showing dignity and class under shrub.

Hey, if you're in Texas, you can run as an atheist, you can even win as an atheist, but you can't take the oath of office if you're an atheist. (State constitution requires you acknowledge a higher power at part of the oath of office.)

I'm so tempted to say that there's a curse attached to the new TP season (RIPs to Catherine Coulson, Miguel Ferrer, Warren Frost…), but when you cast 15 million people in your show, I guess you're bound to lose a few.

Hey, some of those GOP legislators expressed some real outrage at the situation. Unfortunately, Republican outrage regarding anything T®ump-related has the approximate shelf life of a sliced avocado, so they will all have fallen back in line by the end of the day, and ready to confirm new FBI Director Nugent.

Too eloquently phrased.