I worked at one of those buy & sell used video/video game/music places in the late 00s. Never got a roachy game system sold back to us, but, as I was there for the last gasp of the VHS resell market, we'd occasionally get "a roacher" (aka: a box of roach infested VHS tapes.) Apparently, all that unused space inside a…

Seems more plausible than him jogging the 300 yards…

Well, the Texas Chili Parlor opens at 11am, and loathe as I am to proffer any defense for anything Alex Jones-related, they do make a pretty mind-scrambling bowl of chili.

In case anyone's not following his custody hearing today, here's the grossest tidbit so far:
"…in deposition, Alex Jones said he couldn't recall basic facts about kids, because, 'I had a big bowl of chili for lunch.'"

Wait, not "prediction".
I meant "wildest dream".

My prediction? All five will be about Pip the Troll (Eddie Pepitone in mocap suit.)

But! But! Didn't you notice in the new Transformers trailer how they used the slow cover of "Do You Realize" and they played the lyric "You're floating in space" exactly when they show Optimus Prime's head actually FLOATING IN SPACE, man?!? You just don't get it, man! They're operating on a deeper level than you…

Hel's a-poppin'!

SKUX LIFE!!!

Why is this not about a Bumblebee Man spinoff? The Simpsons have been teasing that for decades!!! I might actually see that.

Needed more dick (not Nixon).

MARMITE!!!

I assume he was jacked up on pills?

Oof… that was was a serious misfire. I give it more slack than most, though, because I'll take all the M.E. Winstead I can get.

THREEmake! It's a threemake.

Well, none of the jokes are very funny, if that's what you mean.

The evangelical right thinks anything you did more than about ten minutes ago is apparently excusable, up to and including sexual assault. (As long as you're on their side.)

…and yet, I still can't get a call back from him OR Rick Moranis regarding the spec script for my body-swapping comedy Hot Dad.

Anybody wanna do [by which I mean open an account for] some lines [by which I mean phone lines]?

Atlas Shrugged: Like This: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯