But she ain't gettin' with no broke 'Zillas.

Remember when Woody Allen let Jimmy Fallon be in a few scenes of one of his movies (his worst movie, coincidentally) and he still couldn't manage to get through it without mugging to the camera? Well, it happened. Because Jimmy Fallon is a terrible fucking performer.

You may be hard-pressed to find it outside the central Texas hill country, but Guadalupe Brewery's Scotch Ale is one of the best non-Scottish Scotch ales I've come across. Highly delicious. (And I think it tops out right around 10% on the booze content.)

It just needs more fiber in its diet.

…where the glowing rectangle is constantly beckoning from your pocket, begging to draw your attention from the screen.

Hey, everybody! Remember how that Warcraft movie was a big ol' crappy turd?

World of Warcraft is the one we'll always remember her for. (Or was it called just Warcraft? I'm pretty sure I saw it, but can't recall the title for sure. Or maybe I didn't see it?)

Woah! Tucker Carlson is real? I thought that was just a bit that Mo Rocca was doing for the last 15 years.

In Russia, dog [at the end of FSB agent leash] eats you!

I, for one, enjoyed it much more the first time (in a big, almost-empty theater) than when I re-watched it at home. I still liked it either way, but I think the big screen and dark room were contributing factors to my initial enjoyment.

Well, it's taken millions of dollars and dozens of painful surgeries that every doctor advised me against having, but I feel it's the healthiest way to express my adoration for an actor I've never met.

I am usually overly-conscious of using both her first and last names.

She's just now kinda making her big break in features. Previously, it was TV and tiny parts in movies. This year she was up on a big, SFX-y money machine AND a prestige thing. Not a bad way to one-two punch your way into the bigs.

Man, Loving was a bit of a disappointment, but nonetheless, both of the leads deserve the recognition they're getting for it. Both performances were just gorgeous. I never liked that Edgerton guy before it, but he definitely turned me around. And Ruth Negga (who I already kinda had big, heart-shaped eyes for) just…

*yells at cloud*

Yeah, I like pot, too.

1. Why?
2. Why, gods, why?!?
3. Can you fucking believe this shit?
4. What's the tallest building you know, and does it have roof access and/or anti-jumping measures?
5. Goddamn motherfucking Trump, right?!?
6. Seriously, though… why is the world like this?
7. Seriously, though… can you believe this shit?!?
8. Oh dear god,…

FIGHT ME!

Beats the steady pounding of the drums of pending doom.

It's the film that only death could keep Bob Clark from directing!