"Having been educated at Middle Tennessee State University and Seattle Central, I am, of course, exceedingly stupid."

As far as I'm concerned, she should be encouraged to publish a non-ghostwritten memoir. Come on. You know that would be awesome.

Are there restrictions on where it can be tattooed?

Alleged hermaphroditism or no, lumping Jamie Lee Curtis in with these people is an offense to decency. A Fish Called Wanda, people.

Live action or CGI smurf movie, by 2012 at the latest. You heard it here first.

Michael Bay will direct, and it will make 1 billion dollars.

How has nobody suggested Tetris yet?

If only vaginal penetration is sex, then there's no such thing as "gay sex," so we're all in the clear. Just guys admiring each other's strength.

D-bags are wearing fedoras now? More than usual, I mean?

FIRST BASE: masturbation
SECOND: shame
THIRD: shame
HOME RUN: shame

Yes, Lefty, and thanks to Dan Savage that act is now called "saddlebacking."

They should have just rebranded blueberries as "acai berries." Same phenomenon, but all the stuff could taste good.

No, because disaster movies need big budgets, and no studio is going to invest in the "self-righteous, pretentious prick makes disaster porn, lectures and punishes audience for wanting to see it" movie.

I haven't seen Knowing (or 28 weeks later), but if you live in New York, you get desensitized to seeing your home CGI-destroyed a few times a year. Post-9/11 or no, Hollywood loves blowing us up/unleashing monsters on us/engulfing us in giant waves/etc. You just take it as a compliment and move on.

I thought Wicker Man was in the entertainingly bad sweet spot. Of course, I watched it with Rifftrax, and drunk.

I think that line actually was from Star Trek, actually, which adds to the joke. Spock said it. (He was bluffing.)

It was a plant.

"Gums?" So, her lower half is a fish, and she's also toothless? All she needs is a beer tap on the top of her head, amirite, fellas? (Men like beer.)

I saw on the TV that they also stripped his wife of "all but $2.5 million" to live on. And then they show her riding the subway. Now, I realize that's much, much less than she's used to, but $2.5 million seems a)still very rich for someone who's never had a job and b)probably enough for cab fare.

Because of all the stuff every year setting things back a few decades, race relations are currently in the late Paleolithic era.