'I got my motorcycle jacket but I'm walking all the time.'

'California Sun' is my favourite Ramones song by some distance - and the head down bit after the second chorus is one of my favourite moments in all music.

Geordie Shore is 'set' in Newcastle upon Tyne, in the north-east of England.

Please, no more titles along the lines of 'American Whatever'.

He is a little cockney twat though, and no mistake.

I wish I was called Mikey Shake.

I long for the time when Barry - and Barrie - wasn't an uncool name.

Comedy is anger in fancy dress.

What ails thee, child, what ails thee?

Seconded. Treacly sentimentality is its worst offence.

Stephen King? He uses it in more than one book, I think.

Didn't Gore Vidal say that he never went near a penis?

One of my favourite couplets here, good one.

Hasn't that 'only' got a live version of I Fought The Law, not the studio version? Any intro to The Clash that makes that mistake is a mistake.

Red Gums For Me.

God, yeah - her eyes in that last scene.

He was also Caligula in '70s BBC 'I, Claudius'. Impregnates his sister and then cuts the baby out and eats it, that sort of thing.

Hmmm … all those programmes you mention would have to hang their heads in shame in the presence of Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Hannibal, Louis and probably others that I haven't seen yet.

So now I have to apologise for Gordon Ramsey, as well as Simon Cowell and Piers Morgan? Oh well - sorry, America.

The days of The Singing Detective and The Monocled Mutineer are vanished, I'm afraid.