Several centuries of puberty seem like a much worse punishment than anything I can imagine.

Which Invisible Man? It matters.

Just maybe
the townsfolk in Footloose were on to something.

Criticism isn't just fault-finding, and even if it were, it's not hard at all to imagine a zealous fault-finder.

Looks like someone has stolen my two new doll lines, Terrorist Tots and Hit Kids.

Musso was very popular with the castor oil industry.

Under water. As long as you use the right glue, it could work.

If coming here made you say "anyhoo," you are getting out just in time.

We'll probably have to wait for her latest child to grow up enough to grab a gun.

There's nothing more folksy than 4" Frederick's of Hollywood heels.

Isn't she already?

Oh, god—reruns already?

I'll wait for the remake of Boys Don't Cry with a boy in the lead role. Should be interesting.

Big deal. SarahPAC will buy up all the copies like they did with the first book she "wrote," and she'll have another best seller.

Return to Gilligan's Island
I always hoped for a Return film where a group of tv types doing a Survivor kind of show went to the island and found Gilligan turned into a Kurst figure, like Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now. He'd gone crazy from the brain damage caused by the constant beatings he'd gotten from the…

Does it count if the Jews commit suicide?

I've got the Playboy issue.

I like my women like I like my coffee—covered in bees.

Since when does an Oscar mean anything, really?

You can always go to Namibia. Great country.