A large hole.

I'm not really even saying murder is the simplest solution in this case, as noted above, but to answer your points:

I agree with Drolz. There is almost always a simpler solution than the one Michael employs and, yes, sometimes that would involve killing a dude. In this case, though, I kept thinking: if the guys chasing you are so incompetent that you have to make a trail for them, why not just turn around and head back to the road?…

Exactly why I broke up with your mom.

Aw, it's the guy I embarrassed in the Jetpacks thread! Stalking me now, eh?

I suppose the original post could be considered "contentious" to the author, in as much as any hyperbolic criticism is, there is no good reason for anyone else to take it that way. As for the rest, I've only been combative or condescending in this thread toward people who were being flippant or directly insulting to…

You got me Detective Freud! I was sure I would make tons of friends by pointing out the obvious fact that this article is bad because, you know, I'm completely new to the internet and life in general.

How dare you.

That's cute.

And draw out the last syllable of every senteeeeence.

Honestly, what the fuck does that even mean?

The client
Good episode, but that Spencer character was god damn nails on a chalk board.

So there appear to be two lines of thought here:

I stopped reading the review as well, but now I'm getting the impression that the two dudes end up fucking.

"But they won't be afraid to take risks "

"The worst you could say about a feature like this is that it dilutes the AV Club's "brand", or some similar bullshit phrase that no magazine worth its salt would have given two shits about 15 years ago, and that I'm happy the AV Club doesn't now."

I'm perfectly calm Dude.

I'm providing these comments free of charge as well (you're welcome). Please refrain from criticism.

I'm assuming you've never expressed a negative opinion of a network television show, right? Because they're free, you know, and therefore completely immune to your criticism.

Ah, the classic "it's free you should expect it to be bad" argument. Never seen that one before!