Yeah, I really don't think she does her best work live. I liked her a hell of a lot more in Ghostbusters than I ever did on SNL, and I'd like to see her in more films, or just…anything that's not live. But I'd be happy swapping either her or Vanessa out for Cecily—and it was Vanessa's last season, so maybe not her.

I initially misread this headline as "Quentin Tarantino has written a script for a family movie," and was like "now this I gotta see."

One of my undergrad professors wrote an article about blowjob jokes in Shakespeare, or the lack thereof. It was titled "What Ho, Fellatio!"

Paul Ryan, which is the only reason I can think of that he might not make sure any real talk of impeachment gets crushed from the start.

If he doesn't, we'll still have a civil war on our hands. The idiots who voted for him will refuse to believe it was natural causes, and they'll take to the streets with every gun they own swearing Hillary poisoned him.

*terrified rictus grin* "AND I'M ERIC!"

One of these days, I really, genuinely do expect to see the headline "Trump Fatally Shoots Child In Middle of Pennsylvania Avenue," followed by five different opinion pieces on why Ryan and McConnell still won't do jack shit about it.

She'll always be Gilfoyle's Satanist girlfriend from Silicon Valley to me.

Don't let your kid anywhere near tumblr. Seriously. That site manages to take ordinary teenage self-righteousness and turn it legitimately dangerous.

Eh, you're right, it's more "everywhere, America included."

Also not afraid to punch the women he's dating, which…is still pretty American, I guess.

I'd find him pretentious-but-harmless if he hadn't once given his girlfriend a black eye in the middle of the street and then said in an interview that he "would have killed her" if he hadn't walked away.

So does he, apparently—his girlfriend chief among them.

The news article said "the end of the month," so I've been assuming, but who knows. It would be nice if someone would tell us.

6. Survive the Kinjageddon, presumably.
7. Mourn the loss of the A.V. Club as we know it.

Shhh. It's okay. Head toward the light.

There's something vaguely tragic about this comment. It's like watching someone moments before they die, rambling about the fantasy world that exists only in their fevered, moribund brain.

As long as they keep Kate, Cecily, and Beck. I wouldn't be happy to see any of the rest go, but it wouldn't feel like quite such a grotesque waste of talent.

I remember reading a news story recently about a Canadian teenager whose mother had refused to vaccinate her for anything, so she went through some kind of school program or free public health program that had informed consent and got the vaccines herself. The mother kicked up a shitfit and tried to sue the healthcare…

Horses kind of terrify me with their fragility. I'm afraid to go anywhere near them. I think it stems from when I was nine and at Girl Scout camp and the horse I was assigned to ride had to be retired for unexplained reasons, and I was convinced that it was somehow my fault for kicking her too hard to make her giddyup…