I once knew a dude named Earl, who insisted on going by "Duke."

I think "Jessica" originated with The Merchant of Venice.

You know, for as often as I had to hear about her, I don't think I ever did bother to find Mankrik's wife.

You should have just threatened a bunch of women with sexual assault. They never take that down.

Can we maybe consider holding the US presidency to a higher standard than the flood of shitty YA novels about vampire boning that resulted from people thinking "if Stephanie Meyer can get published, fucking anyone can?"

That was his ultimate goal all along.

I was going to say, I have no idea what "chicken salt" is, but I know I want some.

On days like this, I make a conscious effort to believe in hell so that I can envision these people burning in it.

Oh, good. As long as he's getting work. I was afraid he'd just dropped off the map, which really would be a shame, because he is fantastic.

Seriously, though, what did happen to Steve Zahn? He was in everything for a while, and now it seems like he's become some kind of misanthropic cave hermit.

It's gettin' pretty wild up in Erie, PA. I hear they stay up way past midnight.

My heart has joined the Thousand, for my friend stopped flying today.

Fair enough. I will defer to the longer-term Tick fans on the matter.

I feel like Warburton should just do both. I wouldn't want to lose him as Lemony Snicket, but there's no point to The Tick if he isn't The Tick.

I was a big fan of his as a kid/tween, and to this day I still think of projects I wish I could see him in. I just wish there were something concrete that could be done about the whole "chew them up and spit them out" nature of child celebrity.

Grammar is for humanities majors.

He's still doing better than Kel Mitchell, though. I used to resent him for that, but now I've made my peace with it.

Nah, that was gold.

Jared from Silicon Valley is a pretty stand-up guy. Of course, his real name is Donald.

How's that working out for them right now?