On this week of In Discussion With BonerTime and creeper…

She definitely seemed to be having more fun than anyone else in the movie. I'd love to see the outtakes of her screaming about the need to nail the door shut in Bruce Dern's ear.

"The Beast" is dope, but it's especially dope because it marked the very first point in the movie where the college-aged idiots behind me shut the hell up in the theater and let the movie consume them.

They remain my biggest problem with the movie, but I've watched it like six or seven times. It doesn't bother me that much. The Kate Winslet/Jack Black half of the movie, I actually really like and find very charming.

The video store clerk guy. I feel like you won't stop talking about him.

"This is what Vittorio Storaro sees when he masturbates."

Loved The Hateful Eight, I just wish there had been more outdoor photography. Like, I could have watched ten minutes of O.B. and Chris pounding stakes from the barn to the haberdashery and from the haberdashery to the shithouse. I fucking love and cannot get enough of snow footage.

I watch it every Christmas. I don't know. I hate myself. Give me a break.

It was Christmas and I was drunk and I like traditions, even the traditions I hate.

I rewatched some garbage holiday movies, including The Holiday, but what I really want to talk about is The Family Stone. Why is this movie so mean to Sarah Jessica Parker? It wants us to hate her immediately. The first scene is of her and her fiancee in a department store and she's on her cell phone talking to her…

It's too late for Teti to turn back now.
I believe, I believe, I believe I'm falling in love.

I HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER A MOVIE IN THE LONG TERM. HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT?

[~15-20 UNABRIDGED MINUTES OF BRET EASTON ELLIS RANTING AGAINST "SNOWFLAKE" CULTURE.]

There definitely was that for me, as well. (But I kind of didn't want to say that, because that's the aspect of Birdman that's ALWAYS praised, even though I also found it distracting. 'Is it time to get a beer?!') Like, Oh, it's a single take like a play like the actors in the movie are experiencing? Neat.

I just felt like so much ambition went into making this movie about actors trying to be the most actor-y they could be, while screaming about the entire time, and there were these half-assed comments on superhero movies and film critics and social media. And it all just felt like a teenager's creative writing project…

I hated Birdman. I love that review, but it's way angrier towards the movie than I was ever was.

Get the first comment on the new review for a popular TV show and post a fairly well-known meme. Boom. 1000 upvotes.

Fuck.

Part 2 is going to have a lot more David Carradine.

Ignatiy Vishnevestky (had to Google that spelling) had a comment on here recently that I thought was perfect, which is that John Teti has finally settled into the role he born to play with his newborn child: a father who loves football and old game shows.