Here's some salt. Why not rub it in my wound, Mr. Mean-Pants?

No! See, I was trying to do this thing where someone like you would see my post and say: "Uhh, it actually comes from a Stanley Kubrick movie. You know…The Shining" and then I would reply with "SHHHH! You want to get sued?!"

I can't believe how blatantly they ripped off Homer freezing to death from 'The Shinning' bit in The Simpsons Tree House of Horror Episode. FOR SHAAAAMMMMEEE!

That pee-hoarding brat is in serious need of some manners. I'll be Damned if some kid is gonna reprimand my language while watching MY television.

It took me 11 days to respond to you because I smoked pot and then I had to g

To Lester's credit, one can never tell if it's apple juice or urine until you unscrew the lid and do the smell-test. When in doubt: throw it out!

Shiiiiiiit baby. Why you tellin' us that shit for? *shakes head incredulously*

I get this too! You are not alone!

Whenever I think of this album I immediately think about being 10 years old and of the Tragic Kingdom poster which was in my closet (used to hide the tampered nude photos of Gillian Anderson from my parents). Sadly the tape didn't hold.

Load up on Beers, Beer your friends
It's fun to Beer and to Beer-tend
She's over Beer, Beer-assured
Oh no, I know a dirty Beer

My God did that smell good!

Pork Chop Sandwiches!

Not to sound like a pretentious a-hole, but Adorno must be spinning in his grave right now!

Mediocre and strange portions. I ate here just this weekend: yesterday I woke up puking a lemon.

For the Clowes nerds in the house: As much as this story grosses me out, Shia would make a good candidate for playing the role of Black Nylon in 20 years time though, no? Just put this fatuitous man in a super-hero costume and let the camera role!

"Daniel Clowes, isn't he wonderful? I know there are lame Hollywood-types who try ripping him off - they must be half-dead with beastliness. I spurn them with my toe." - John Peel

*This excerpt has been revised to include an obnoxious caps-lock header and is now 25% more gender inclusive, meeting the current standards of today's 21st Century Bisexuality.

A (WO)MAN'S GUIDE TO PICKING UP GIRLS!!!!
I could have saved Weber and the blow-hards making this piece of filth movie a lot of time. Time they could have spent revelling in the joys of wine and firearms. All one needs to pick up girls is a little bravery, some cultured connaissance, and the state of California. …

or…GENIUS!?

A half-assed snuff film masquerading as a Christmas movie. Filth.