Hey Durckk,

Have I told you what a douchebag I am, Bad News Breaker?

My wife and I have very common taste and she even loves Wonder Showzen like I do. She draws the line at Xavier: Renegade Angel, though. She will tolerate one epsiode at a time (they're only 10 minutes for chrissakes), but that's it.

No!

The only words TV Execs understand are hookers and cocaine.

I loved him in "Drowning Mona", too.

…or could the Bad Brains, depending on age.

If you think about it, though, Fey and Carrell's films haven't been as good as their TV shows. As for Fey, Mean Girls was okay, but Baby Mama was terrible. Carrell's 40 YOV was okay, but every other starring vehicle has been pretty bad. Stick to TV, kids!

So it's not about Dracula?

The worst part is…he thinks he's passing.

On my way to Oregon from Seattle, I took a jaunt to Roslyn, Washington, the fictional Cicely, Alaska from Northern Exposure. It was totally worth the trip.

A man my age shouldn't be up all night looking for Gatorade streams in the backyard.

I would avoid Sabbath's Theater if you hated Portnoy. Go for "The Ghost Writer" or American Pastoral".

Totally, mollymauk. And can't you just imagine running your fingers through Lidia's hair?

Is that you, David Cross?

Uptalking drives me crazy. Terry Gross is one of the worst offenders. I still listen to her, though, and imagine her more attractive than she is.

Stop quoting me guys!

Apology accepted, maddening crowd.

…and then the priest says, "If that's a canary, then who's your wife?!"

You know what's in hot dogs? Well, there's cow's eyes, and dog's heads, and old phone books, and, of course, wiener flavor.