Jib-cutting is a pretty hardcore kink.

I think she'll fit right in on Kinja.

Evil Dead II is always the best answer.

I know 5. Roy Munson, Kingpin

I don't even own a crime!

But they did introduce us to our new friend Ernie, who assured us that the whole thing might approach functionality – someday.

"If we don't get a volunteer, you're all going to have to see my can."
—Ernie

It wasn't terrible, but I wouldn't get your hopes up too high. You knew he wasn't going to cut open a vein or anything, but he seemed really determined to give Colbert nothing. To his credit, Stephen pressured him while still being respectful, but to little avail.

I don't know. My favorite actress is Hershey, Bar none.

In those days, nickels had pictures of Applebees on 'em. Give me five Applebees for a quarter, you'd say.

What happened to you, Applebee's? You used to be cool.

You know - Donald Trump, Jr., mostly.

Wouldn't you rather have your sugar bag?

Right! And then Big Stupid and Danny get a grant and they renovate the cafe—-a real Chili’s feel without all the Chili’s crap. You know, a fun place for a birthday, Joel… free hats, prize buckets, you know, hoopty-doody…

I can't imagine Hannibal would be willing to consume any part of the toxic waste dump called Donald Trump.

Nope, regular Monday evening.

We can do it in my dad's barn! Catgun, you start sewing costumes, VitaminShoe, start making leaflets and posters to hang up at the high school, and I'll start buying cocaine!

I was assuming we had moved on from quill-shooting to the subject of "Lamest. X-Men. Member. Ever!"

Well, I don't know anything about the legal system beyond what I've heard, but couldn't she, as the winner, recover her legal fees from him? And also, isn't he, as the loser, on the hook already for the entirety of his own legal fees? Either way, that is pretty stinging.

Hey, Cypher is also capable of running and crying, thank you very much.