"dramatically spitting on the floor, as the French do."

A pile of shit. Which, coincidentally, is also their business model.

No, but it is a bit homophobic

Roger Goodell vs. Zombie Al Davis

Naw man, he's talking about a rivalry even older than the NFL itself - Cowboys and Injuns! 'Murica!

Has anyone in this prison ever even seen a chicken before?!

Phenomenon
do dooo do do do
Phenomenon
do do do do
Phenomenon
do dooo do do do
do do do
do do do
do do do do do do do do do do

I believe my employee deserves a mention here.  And daddy wants a taste.

I don't know how much of a descent it was, though - I think he's been occupying that lower level of sanity for a while now

There he goes

No one's in talks to play The Thing yet?  But daddy needs to get his rocks off!

"ideally played by [Brad] Garrett"

It appears to be two poorly matched boobs

your pun-making skills are sub-standard

We all live in a crack-filled submarine
a crack-filled submarine
a crack-filled submarine

They'll still scissor, though, right?

Really?  I haven't seen much change at all since I've been watching it these past couple years.

Hmm, they usually only do something like that for sweeps

I don't watch him every night, so maybe that helps.  Still, I maintain that Geoff Peterson is an American treasure.

I think this is less a case of "TV is the new film" than it is "Halle Berry is the new Jada Pinkett-Smith"