Take off, eh!

Christmas, as in yule, yule log. Not a log, I don't have a log. I mean you know. If I had a log, not in the sense that you think I said I did. Good golly. Tis the season to be merry.

@TomWaits

I think Liza Minelli's last marriage had more authenticity than this one.

My recommended gateway

P-p-please, Eddie. You know there's no justice for toons anymore. If Zemeckis gets his hands on this, it's as good as dipped.

If I had a dollar for all the hilarious stories about dads finding their sons dead…

You watch, next they're gonna do a remake of John Carpenter's "Dark Star" and totally ruin it.

Oh great. Next you're gonna tell me that General Tso chokes his chicken.

Wasn't he married

…but enough about your mom.

OMG 4 shur

Is this retched demi-bee… half asleep upon my knee… some freak from a menagerie?
No it's Eric the half a bee.

Hey Favre, how's Shaq's ass taste?

Feel free to add just about any Leonard Cohen tune to your list Tom.

All I know is that I find the Dylan Christmas album more tolerable than the Octomom… Even though I'm not even a Dylan fan I've never felt the compulsion to punch him.

I once saw a stripper dance to Type O Negative's "Black #1". It was scary and sexy at the same time.

Weezer?

Did your mom share bong hits with you too?

Dip that fucking "Dave" in fudge and you've got yourself a winner!