[worthless]

Happy Birthday! My gift to you is the most precious one of all: hope.
[with a side of terrible disappointment]

Check out Geek & Sundry's Critical Role. It's got professional voice actors, production values and is made by people who love the game. It's one of the highlights of my week, not that that is saying much.

Credulous white-trash shitheads who think "reality television" has any relationship with reality love the bastard. There are hundreds of thousands of dumb, dumb motherfuckers out there.
But not enough to swing an actual election.

"America First" is a glaringly ironic and hilarious slogan that screams aloud this oaf's complete and utter historical ignorance and demagogic fascistic tendencies. It's just too perfect. He ought to pick Mel Gibson for his VP candidate to add violent, Catholic anti-Semitism in the manner of Father Coughlin to his…

"Magic Bullet" only has 11 letters and is a phrase!"

Distance yourself from those people until they figure out what they did wrong, apologize and make it right. If they don't figure it out pretty quickly or ask for it again more rudely, shit-can them from your lives. They're users.

With a rust-stained iron rod.

Don't always bet on Black. A diversified portfolio is very important.

Especially with that sumbitch Reagan in The White House!
They say he's a good man, but I don't know…
Maybe his advisors are confused.

[ladder-hop, ladder-hop, ladder-hop, leer]

How dare you, Darling!
Also "Schnell! Schnell! Kartofelkof!"

Also, you had left 'sausage' and its definition out.

"My Grandfather, on my Parents' side…"

Stephen Fry as Jeeves politely tipping his bowler to the cow he has just milked is still priceless and charming.

"In the Old Army, when you met someone in a dress, you shot him and nicked his country."

" 'Security" is not a dirty word, Blackadder. 'Crevice' is a dirty word, but 'security' isn't!"

"Hans. There are skulls. On our caps. Does this mean we're the baddies?"

God, I miss Rick Mayall.

"Still a tit."