Jive Dude takes the witness stand. "Johnnie," as the court reporter does a brilliant Stevie Wonder impersonation at his keyboard.

Every extant copy of Highlander 2 needs to be burned and we should never speak of it again. I took part in a refund riot at a screening of that abomination.

See, that's catchy. Make the L gold while the rest of the letters remain silver. I still wouldn't watch the fucking thing, but it might trick some people into learning something (like what a cumbersome pain in the ass it is to use Roman numerals).

And they are actually Indian numerals (including the very important zero) that Muslim traders adopted and brought west.

Idiocracy Indicator! The End is Nigh!

That's what I said, too. That picture of LBJ being sworn in on the plane with a shattered Jackie behind him instantly flashed into mind.

"That's you, dumbass!"

I told a guy to scream and slam his shoulder into a wall like Mad Mel in Lethal Weapon. He passed out from the pain, so I've got nothing.

I wouldn't use The Daily Mail to line a bird cage. Your poor budgie would die from the fumes.

They were vicious bastards with a telegram, as was the fashion of the time, though.

It's in Dayton, Ohio.

Ahem.

A record-breaking number of head-butts and glassings are in the offing.

I still can't do it. It's rather embarrassing. Sir Terry's books got me through some of the darkest times of my life, and I don't want to say goodbye.

I hope you enjoyed it. Now go have your hearing checked.

I might give that Figes book a look-in the next time I go to the library. Does it go back to Kievean Rus before the Mongols showed up?

That and Bleak House are his two best novels.

I'm really enjoying Bill Bryson's The Road to Little Dribbling, which is a memoir as much as a travel book. I'm still plunging ever-deeper into Mary Beard's excellent SPQR. Lois McMaster Bujold's new Vorksigan-verse novel Gentleman Jolle and the Red Queen is in-bound from Amazon.
Finding King's Mr. Mercedes to be…

Well hell, The U. S. Supreme Court took it upon itself to decide who was president in 2000, so why not them?

Nah, he's a white guy.