Be a lot cooler if you did…

[lights flaming MORE RUM signal]

I'm sorry, but your greasy Dutch balls are just so damned evil…

We're going to need it, Hagbard. Ta' very much.

1. People who are intolerant of others' cultures.
2. The Dutch.

Oh, Baptists! Gluttony is their totally-okay Deadly Sin.

Very sober, very Christian and don't like football? There are probably dead Girl Scouts buried in their back yard. Get out!

Maybe Bill could try and William Tell that thing off of Trump's head? WHOOPS! Guess not! EDIT for illiteracy.

Okay, fine, make us wait for the story.

With the devil's cheese? He ought to see a doctor about that.

Happy Thanksgiving, A. V. Club Editors, Writers and Contributors! Thank you all for all that you do to keep us informed and entertained.

It was the Vicar's niece, again. Sorted.

"You know just how to tip your little Bowler hat! Yes, Sir! Yes, Sir!"

Mmh-umh-mmh. (shakes head sadly)

The Gregorian Calendar, NOT the Julian Calendar!

Welcome to the Artie Lang Thanksgiving Special!

FLAGGED-ADAG-DONG

FLAGGED

We're thinking of you.

Please. D. C. was a shitload scarier back in the early '90s and I bought pot a the Lincoln Memorial at 4a.m. on a Sunday. I was carrying a gun, though.