"Those boys were awful!"
"They were like criminals!"
"I don't know. Eric was kind of cute…"
"EEEWWW!"

Quick, pull your hard drive and microwave it for half an hour!
Then dump it, microwave and all, off a bridge into a river at
2 A. M. It's expensive, but it beats prison.

To be fair, Scott Walker is the one with the hand up his ass.

"You STOLE Fizzy Lifting DRINKS!"

Died In Office Elections are fucked up.

[spiritual ancestor, Your Extraterrestrial Messiahness]

Which nobody asked for and they shoved in next to Hannibal like a smelly, deranged stranger on a bus!

"They took THE BAR! They took THE WHOLE. FUCKING. BAR."
[liquor bottles shatter on the ground]
"AAAAHHHH!"

Just the title is wretched.

"So if you're on the dole, go and see Rol! Have a chat up the Poly!"
"Um, that doesn't mean I want you to seduce my parrot!"
"Ha! Good one, Rol!" [shove]
I think I have the entire run of The Young Ones memorized.

That reminds me, we need some Better Off Dead love up in here.
"Sorry I blew up your Mom, Ricky."

The whole movie. Leslie Nielson is my personal Lord and Savior.

The Rachael Papers, Martin Amis's first novel, is also hilarious.

Tibor Fischer's novel The Thought Gang, about Eddie Coffin, a drunken Cambridge Philosophy professor on the run from embezzlement charges who takes up bank robbery in France is the funniest thing I have ever read and I recommend it to everyone.

The bit when Felix starts "clearing his tubes" (FNEH, FNEH) in the deli booth just as the waitress walks up. Matthau's reaction shot is priceless. That whole movie is solid gold.

"That's why I make love to my hand, honey.
I beat my dick like it owe me money!"

"Cradle of Motherfuckin' Civilization!"

Dave taking the savage bite of peanuts right out of the bowl at the end still reduces me to tears.

"Get back here, Toby!"

"This is where my tongue lives."