Dude, you're the worst.

Best Quote on Durst
By buddyhead.com, upon learning the news that Durst had gotten a tattoo on his chest of Kurt Cobain's face: "That's like Hitler getting a tattoo of Jesus and trying to make us all forget what he's done."

Alternative One Hit Wonders/MTV Buzz Bin Tracks
A subject that deserves some treatment in this series. The '90s was rife with them:

Cracked Rear View: Alternative Juggernaut
My favorite example of '95 being the height of alternative as the mainstream is Hootie and the Blowfish. Standard MOR rock, but it was aggressively marketed by Atlantic at the outset as alternative, the band had their first video premiere on "120 Minutes", and even got…

Great work Steven.
One of my favorite pieces on this site in quite some time.

Golgo 13
Good to see they've finally made a live action version of my favorite NES game that had a sex scene that restores your character's energy level.

Rabin, You've Made an Enemy of Vlade Divac
This was the working title of his half-finished inside look at the 2002 Sacramento Kings season. Some publishers have shown interest, but recently he's been considering the self-publishing route. No more.

In Sean O'Neal's Particularly Happy Dreams …
He's the writer of the "Crazy Christians" sketch from the pilot of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Some day you'll reach that level of satirical sophistication, boyo …

I'm sorrey, did you say "water"?

I totally have a solution.
This dude can just buy a ticket to Celebration V and be all like, "WTF u tried to ban me LOL im here bitchez." Lucas, you got served!

Betty White Is So Old
In her day, it was "Well-Travelled Paths Ahead."

Still A.C.
Absolutely charming.

Let Us Not Forget
"Sidekicks" was Joe Piscipo's finest hour. His rubber-faced take on a cartoonishly evil version of Cobra Kai's Sensei Kreese is pretty much the essence of why he left Saturday Night Live for the greener pastures of feature films.

It's this crazy new thing where a DJ takes one song and segues it into the next one, seamlessly, "matching beats", as it were. There appears to be no "mashing" elements of two or more tracks into a single track. Word on the street is that this format is referred to as a "mix."

As painfully flogged Jennifer Love Hewitt singles go, this one is "Unfinished Sympathy" in comparison to the "I Still Know What You Did Last Summer" jawn, "How Do I Deal (no question mark)":

Am. You. Me. HOLLA!
How is it possible that this article described "How You Remind Me", Ja Rule, 50 Cent's destruction of Ja Rule's career, and *didn't* contain a reference to Ja Rule Duets :

Make some noise for our next comic …
"Regarding Henry"? More like *Retarding* Henry". Zing, ha ha!