Great! Now the next time Lucas fucks with his films we're gonna see Vader's exposed, pulsing brain! Thanks a lot!

I think it's nice that Adam Sandler finds work for his supremely untalented, unfunny, unlikable friends. I just wish the work he found for them didn't involve them being on my teevee.

I used to work at Thrifty Drug (they of the great ice cream), which was also open on Christmas. In fact, it was tradition that they started a huge white sale on Christmas morning. And I'll be Goddamned if there wasn't always a line of scowling, miserable women waiting out front when we opened the doors ready to tear…

Let's see if I've got the logic right - LtCG overheard Hicks tell Foxworthy he had cancer, ergo Hicks loved Foxworthy's comedy. Sure. That seems pretty solid.

That's a ridiculous statement. Because YOU don't like Peanuts it's not an essential? Because YOU don't like Peanuts we're supposed to ignore its popularity, influence and revolutionary effect on the art form? Because Schulz didn't quit when YOU think he should've the strip loses its cultural and artistic legacy? Not…

Yeah, that internet gambling is sure cinematic.

Oh for chrissakes - James Toback is one of the least talented egomaniacs in a town filled to the brim with untalented egomaniacs! Who gives a shit if him got him's widdle feelings hurt? Cash the check, get your own place (he's a bigger mooch and deadbeat than Kato Kaelin - just ask his 'best friend' Warren Beatty),…

Sure, 'Lumberlung' doesn't rock like, oh say, 'Give Me back My Dog,' but I'll stick by its inclusion.

'Lumberlung' by Slobberbone. (Slobberbone's the band's name, not the disease) A surprisingly moving song about the guilt felt by a sick man whose girlfriend is forced to take care of him. ESPECIALLY surprising given songwriter Brent Best reportedly borrowing the name of the fictional ailment from a Simpsons episode.

And now for an opposing viewpoint: I love the LLWS. I think because baseball is my favorite sport, and the one I was always best at (those tend to go hand-in-hand), it breaks my heart that I've grown increasingly disgusted with the state of MLB. (I can sum it up thusly: I love the game and hate the sport.) So watching…

Speaking of love: I love when Cookie Monster posts. Always makes me smile.

I don't hate Cook, but I find I can't watch him anymore because I hate his fanbase so much. There's a special he did where he's performing at Madison Square Garden or somewhere (some giant comedy-killing venue) and the place was packed to the rafters with drunk, backwards-hat-wearing douchebags and their female…

Shit, I'm all for research to find a cure for Alzheimers, but if it means we have to live in a world where super smart apes rule the land and super smart giant sharks rule the sea… well I kind of don't see the point. STOP FUNDING ALZHEIMER'S RESEARCH IMMEDIATELY!

Gee, part of me kind of wants to agree with some of the things he said… but it's Jerry Lewis, so no. Not gonna happen.

The Town That Dreaded Sundown! Yes! A bizarre mix of truly scary killer-in-a-hood scenes and wacky Dukes of Hazard good ol' boy wackiness. And the topper - Maryanne from Gilligan's Island gets shot in the face (that's right, you heard me) and proceeds to crawl around for five minutes doing some fine…

Swing and a miss.

Down Syndrome and Wal-Mart - working together to defeat local small businesses for decades!

I think 'Zodiac' may be Fincher's best, which is really saying something. But - aside from all the valid reasons stated above - I think people bitch about it being 'slow' and 'long' because the murders stop about 45 minutes into a nearly 3-hour movie. And if people don't know the history of the case (and let's be…

It wasn't mothers experiencing the fuckery.

Someone needs to remind Shia that not only has he made a bunch of tremendously bad movies, but that he's been tremendously bad in them.