Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage… that doesn't make since and I'm not going to explain…

Just fly the drones into my veins!

You want America to have an English king? Treason! Treason, I say!

Now that I think about it the best names would be the same first name, like Ryan Ryan or Scott Scott.

I hate last names as first names unless it's the same name. If that kid is Mason Mason then it's awesome.

"Real funny, Mr Seinfeld. Don't quit your day job. Whatever that is."

Good God, Lemon!

It seems to imply that it's self evident that it's a better song than Tossin and Turnin and I don't agree with that at all.

I definitely know that song and I was born 2 decades after it came out but I guess that is still a decade too old for this guy for me to count.

I inserted the lyrics to Bush's "Glycerine" into an 8th grade report with the same idea that the teacher wouldn't notice. It didn't go as well for me.

Good for her.

My bet is that the surprise is the Paul Simon cover band is fronted by Paul Simon.

takes cyanide caplet

Nah, that second account was way too derivative of the first to get that high a grade. You knew it was just going to go downhill when he signed up to a major website. And really the hypocrite fundamentalist genre is pretty tapped out by now. It's going to take something a lot more innovative, like maybe Rick Santorum…

Is there somewhere that tells me what other ceo assholes are doing this, I seriously want to boycott them all and the pessimist in me says there are probably going to be others besides shitty dentist, the go daddy guy, and this loser.

Hans Moleman is clearly based on my life, I demanded restitution. Or at least a sandwich.

If anyone needs me I'll be in my tomb.

. . .cracks knuckles. . .

Ewwwww, I'll take the crab juice.

The last time I ate at an Arby was over 10 years ago and the person I was with and I did become violently ill afterwards. The thought of eating there still makes me shudder a little. Needless to say, I'm a big fan of this Daily Show bit.