I'd like to nervously ask Kat Dennings for a date that she would politely decline while making me not feel too bad about myself.

And you laughed when I bought all those solid zirconia beanie babies.

As long as they don't sell off their bead supply my portfolio will probably recover.

Paper money only has value because we've given it value and we could take that value away. Unlike gold which will certainly always be valuable because it's shiny.

How many tries does it take to get a pizza up there? Do you you spin it like a frisbee or try to underhand hoist it or something? When your 3rd pizza splats against the vinyl siding and you notice the old lady looking through the curtains do you throw the other two pizzas?

I don't think offensive is the right word for me, the first time I heard that name I just groaned, but then I'm not Vietnamese.

There was already a metal band called Isis, lucky for them they already broke up years ago because they'd pretty much have to now anyway.

I started watching the new ones again, often the are pretty bad. I watched last night's and thought "that was ok." Compared to classic stuff it's probably a C but compared to the episodes in the last decade or so it's an A.

"What's your tattoo mean?"

I AM SANE.

Yet another good idea from shit rat.

Politics is all about the he said she said bullshit. But at the end of the day you've got to have faith and keep rollin until the country is rearranged and my generation is N2gether now featuring Method Man.

Healthcare.gov is like Obamacare for the internet!

Great job, Internet!

I'm sure if he'd just try a BBQ sandwich, he'd like it.

We never even found out if Mark died or got away that time they took him to the woods and shot him.

http://www.theonion.com/art…

Now that you mention it, they probably are the new Hootie.

That depends, what kind of mustache do you have?

I still buy tons of music and go to shows all the time but I never listen to the radio or watch music video channels or whatever. A lot of times I will have heard of a band but have no idea they are famous. For example it blew my mind that Kings of Leon was somehow popular enough to play arenas.