I remember going to D.C. several years ago and being incredibly happy to hold an actual print version of The Onion in my hands. Then, being excited when they added a branch in Philly (where I live) last year. Somehow, I weaseled my way into our local A.V. Club as an intern and eventually got to write for the thing,…

More important than Ben and Leslie's engagement? The semi-appearance by Rufus Gunderson.

More important than Ben and Leslie's engagement? The semi-appearance by Rufus Gunderson.

The one that starts at 1:09, which I feel is pretty sharp.

The one that starts at 1:09, which I feel is pretty sharp.

Well done, sir.

Well done, sir.

I still think George's toilet app is a genius idea.

I still think George's toilet app is a genius idea.

BOWZER FOR PRESIDENT

BOWZER FOR PRESIDENT

The best/worst thing about The Noid is the story of Kenneth Lamar Noid. Having the same name, he thought that the Domino's "Avoid The Noid" slogan was a personal dig at him. So he held up a Domino's and kept two employees hostage for hours. His demands were a helicopter, $100K, and a pizza (naturally).

The best/worst thing about The Noid is the story of Kenneth Lamar Noid. Having the same name, he thought that the Domino's "Avoid The Noid" slogan was a personal dig at him. So he held up a Domino's and kept two employees hostage for hours. His demands were a helicopter, $100K, and a pizza (naturally).

My grandfather, in the last years of his life, would watch "Orca" on cable over and over again, for some reason. I don't get it and neither does my therapist.

My grandfather, in the last years of his life, would watch "Orca" on cable over and over again, for some reason. I don't get it and neither does my therapist.

"Oh, they're crooked!"

"Oh, they're crooked!"

Favorite MST3K song, go!

Favorite MST3K song, go!

I have a lazy-eye, so I have to really focus for the entire movie in order for the 3-D to work. Where's our telethon?!