Prom. Literally a movie about kids getting ready for prom.

That's what's amazing about Keller—he's this loving and accepting parent who wants his son to be happy and safe and find someone who supports and completes him, and he's also an incompetent dingbat.

The latest Riverdale comic is a send-up of The Breakfast Club, and it's revealed that Archie has never seen The Breakfast Club.

Who wants to put good money on Jason's actor showing up for season 2 as Cousin… Chasen. Or something. He wears glasses.

Plus it sets up Cheryl with a fork in the road of her life. This will either have her turning toward becoming a better person (which, boring unless the writers find some way to make Nice Cheryl just as hilarious and weird as she is now) or she'll double down on her own insanity. And let's be honest, Drama Cheryl is…

A huge reason to watch this show is "what batshit crazy histrionics are these people gonna get into this time?"

Yeah, they've addressed that multiple times. I have no idea why that reviewer doesn't know that—the show made kind of a big deal out of the fact that Dilton was off firing a gun like a crazy doomsday prepper.

I keep thinking he's going to have the last line of the season, somehow. They've got to be doing this on purpose. I mean, the actor's voice definitely doesn't match up with his face and what you think he would sound like, but that can't be the reason why.

Cheryl is truly ready to assume her rightful place as the Drug Empire Kingpin. Hiram Lodge has no idea what he's gonna be going up against after this.

They were very careful to have a nice fat gap between when Cheryl sided with Penelope to accuse her father, and when they both stood on the porch pointing toward the barn in perfect synchronization.

God, I really wanted it to be powdered maple syrup or something equally ridiculous, like, how DARE THEY BESMIRCH THE VERY INDUSTRY ITSELF

I'm sure Jughead would love for Betty to be the consummated hero.

Lead image: under the table glasstop, almost in the lower right corner. It's hidden by the light refracting.
Trump party: On the shelf between the two guys standing in the back, leaning against the LPs.
Hotel: Find the guy in the pink shirt. Find his elbow. Now look two inches to the right.
Hat party: On the table. It's…

She'd instantly be my favorite character of anything ever if that revelation came true.

Killer BOB appeared and flames started coming out the top of his head.

I rewatched her shifting expressions in the last few seconds of the episode, and Bledel wasn't telegraphing brokenness. That was a towering rage, a far-reaching rage with a long, long shadow.

Shout out to the artists on this show for making Cecil's orchid collection actually reflect some goddamn research for once.

Lightly carbonated, so you can slam 'im down fast!

Huh. I felt like this episode had more momentum than any other besides the pilot.

You're missing the point—they didn't want him happy. They wanted to throw a party to make themselves feel better, and used "make Jughead happy" as a justification to conveniently elide the fact that NONE OF THEM were paying a single iota of attention to what he wanted.