I'd like to live in for a bit
whatever alternate universe people find this shit funny and cool and clever in. Because I'm pretty sure I'd just walk around all day in a perpetual state of wonder and awe, just like when I was a wee child.

I await the day celebrities drop the facade and start wearing advertisements all over their clothing, Nascar-style. The effect would be the equivalent of being struck in the face repeatedly by a rhinestone hammer: you wouldn't like it, but, hey, rhinestones ARE shiny…

Plurallized form of 'anus': ani

For every bad thing that you say about someone, find three good things to say. For every three good things that you say about someone, commence to gently tongue their perineum.