DENTAL PLAN

Hahaha!

Yeah but would they come up with over 100 of them?

Checking the box score, I seem to be exaggerating…but that's how I *remember* it, and that's what really matters.

I have not, but Eva Green! Sold!

Also, on top of those guys, fuck Reince Priebus, but now he'll be in the public consciousness and I can continue to tweet Latin anagrams of his name at him:

Marilyn Manson - Tourniquet
54-40 - Lies to Me
Kiiara - Gold
Donovan - Season of the Witch
Matthew Good - Alert Status Red
Crystal Waters - Gypsy Woman
Everlast - Ends
Living Color - Cult of Personality
A Tribe Called Red - R.E.D.

The radioactive goop I had to drink has made me lose my sense of taste. This is apparently normal and temporary. But I can't taste sugar or salt, so what's the point of anything?

Canadian university football, but…Western Ontario was up 40-13 with 3 minutes left in the Yates Cup playoff game, and lost 43-40. To Laurier, our ancient enemy.

Apparently people are outraged that Prince Harry's girlfriend is black? God I hate people.

Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings - Midnight Rider
Serena Ryder - Got Your Number
Sia - Cheap Thrills
Alessandro Scarlatti - Concerto Grosso #6 in E Major
The Pretty Reckless - Take Me Down
Jackson C. Frank - Blues Run the Game
Green Day - Bang Bang
Odds - Heterosexual Man

The nuclear medicine doctor says the radioactive goop I drank last week worked, and as far as she can see, I shouldn't have any more cancerous cells. They'll have to keep checking me, basically for the rest of my life, but everything looks good for now!

As I mentioned above, I currently have radioactive blood, and therefore, for all practical purposes, I am Spider-Man.

I had to swallow some radioactive iodine today, so I'm radioactive and dangerous to other people. I have to avoid human contact for three days, and I can't even be around my own children for a week. I can't take them out for Halloween!

I met my wife online, because I have no idea what I'm doing in person. She knows I could never cheat on her, because it would be a hilarious and humiliating trainwreck if I tried.

Uranus, because it's got retrograde rotation and it's tilted on its side. You do you, Uranus.

The Romans called it that because it looked like the doorway was vomiting people. They had a sick, childish sense of humour.

Memphré, the monster in Lake Memphrémagog.

Children and pregnant women! And regular adults too, but only for a couple of days.

The next and hopefully last stage of treatment begins with a zero-iodine diet. But I love iodine! It's my favourite of the stable halogens! I have to do that for 12 days, to starve any remaining thyroid cells of iodine, and then swallow some radioactive iodine goop. Then if there are any thyroid cells left, wherever…