I know it isn't, but "shove a hippopotamus through the 4-minute mile" sounds like a really, really filthy euphemism.

Next time I have to complain to some poor minimum wage earning slob about something, I am absolutely going to call them a charlatan.

I have, to the best of my knowledge, never heard a note from this Bieber character. I have no regrets.

Dawnfire South 7th Street.

One palindrome: racecar

I am completely drained of all desire to see this movie.

Wow. You think you know how your day is gonna go and then BAM! Your whole world changes.

Review!
It will be a crime if Herbert Kornfeld doesn't review this. I know, this is the AV Club, he's The Onion. Work something out, dammit!

Como Zoo is 1000% better than it was in the late '70s and early '80s. Granted, the actual zoo part hasn't changed much, and the conservatory is still just as awesome as it used to be, but the rides were a revelation when I took my kid there a couple of years ago. I mean, comparatively.

A healthy dose of smug self satisfaction always rounds it out nicely.

Dammit! I was gonna do a Human Centipede reference. I'm going with Predator$.

Only when you someone blow it first?

@Eric: And here I thought that typo was intentional!

Adolph, work in some Zombies and I can guarantee you seven figures for that idea.

Hey, I saw OTP back in, was it '87? '88? Anyway it was in this tiny club with like three people in the audience and he fuckin' ROCKED that place. Yeah, I hung out with him after and bought him a stout. I dunno, seeing him in these big stadiums just isn't the same.

I worked with a dude who LOVED Rush. He also, no shit, came in to work one day and apropos of nothing said "George W. Bush is my personal hero!" But to be fair, he argued more like Bill O'Reilly. I'm so happy I can write this in the past tense now.

In my own defense, I've never actually been sure what it was. I figured LR knew what he was talking about and copy/pasted. Ah, regret.

So he's…Supertween?

Yeah, Lies was a much better album.

Dr. House's assistants got into his Vicodin stash! Help the fast food mascot escape before they all commit an horrible atrocity they won't even remember!