Very very good. I would have also accepted:

My remaining players are Katie and Caleb (with Aras on RI). The way I see it, my quest for middle of the road is probably over here.

The FCC is like Asparagus. It's makes your urine smell weird. (?)

THANKS OBAMA!

Caption Contests going away is saving my job.My coworkers were getting worried on how I was breaking in to a tear inducing laughter every week at about the same time.

Dick-But-Kiss

I thought you couldn't have babies if your a homophone.

I sure hope someone was fired for this mistake.

I sure hope someone was fired for that mistake.

Don't just stare at it!

NOSTALGIA PLAN!

Oh man, you're a Cleveland fan? My sincerest consolations man, nobody knows the trouble you've seen.

Oooh, good point. I had forgot about that. The game is afoot…

Between this and Culpepper being "the earliest returnee" you're not having a good week.

Just gives her more to grip the pole with. (wow, that came out WAY dirtier sounding then I intended.)

I thought we said we'd never speak of that again!

Oh yeah, when you haven't eaten much for a few days and then you get an overload of greasy fried chicken… they're probably going to spend a lot of time in the ocean.

That's great, they could have it Florida for all I care, I just want a Survivor: Tournament of Champions for Survivor 30!

30 HAS to be Survivor: Tournament of Champions. If it's anything else it will be a waste of a milestone.

Being an NFL player's wife (especially THAT NFL player) is hard work.