Peace be upon your birthday, Pugs!

Let it be known that these words were not spoken by me, as I have no strong opinion in either direction on Avenged Sevenfold or Atlanta. I do unapologetically love Slipknot however.

I tell you the truth, I'm the only one I've seen but there are multiple Reposted Something Or Other accounts and I believe more than one Cookie Monster imitator.

I tell you the truth, this is the truth. Dolls don't really scare your average Grown Ups 2 ticketbuyer, but fret not because there shall be a movie next summer that will terrify them to pudding britches. It's called…..

I tell you the truth, I took this girl I've been trying cast demons out of and semens into to see The Conjuring. It was pretty solid, and I ended up sealing the deal! That's kinda why I let demon-ghost whateverthefucks have a free pass - I'm playing the long game. They can't really hurt you anyways, and you could…

I tell you the truth @Odd Future Wolfgang Pauli, I could actually see some crazy fucker out in front of the condo pouring Crisco on his head and putting Noxzema on his face, farting his ass off with his knees locked until he passes out and we have to call the fucking fire department. I tell you man, this is the worst…

I tell you the truth, my Dad cuts those all the time. Especially in my Jeep. He'll call me up out of the blue all "Jesus, I need you to run me over to Hy-Vee real quick so I can cash my check and grab a twelve pack. Maybe stop at Taco Bell." I'm always bummed on it, because I know he's my Heavenly Father and shit, but…

Just alright? Man, I thought we were cool!

I tell you the truth, I have to agree with you although the line about his kids having taste in other stuff besides chicken fingers dipped in ketchup made me laugh because Bro Shesus' five year old daughter eats that all the goddamn time. Plus, I have to admit I'm a bold flavors kind of guy myself.

I tell you the truth, I keep hearing glowing praise for this film, but can't help wondering why it's been held back for two years.

Friends, I ask you in faith: Is a WikiLeak not when a Juggalo accidentally pisses himself? You know, when they're all like "Whoop WHOOP!!! Wiki wiki wiki…..KNIVES! Wiki wiki wiki……Aww shit ninja, I pissed on myself! My fuckin' JNCOs dude! I spent like six Subway paychecks on these!" Is that not it?

I tell you the truth, in the sequel, the Sharknado needs to square off against a hurricane of really pissed off feral cats.

I tell you the truth, in my experience Nebraskans treasure flip-flops, college football, buffets, and a smug sense of self righteousness above all else, including their souls. So take all the pictures you like. Try and get a full length picture, you know, to capture the capri panted legs with the sock elastic indents…

I tell you the truth, this is brilliant. The money's already in your account. Or, um, it should be…

I tell you the truth, there is a tasteless James Holmes joke to be made here that is best left to someone tasteless. Like Pepsi, Jr., although I haven't seen his posts in awhile. Was he banned?

This is the truth. I recall Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close getting an F for being irredeemably manipulative, among other sins.

"I tell you the truth, your voice is to singing what diarrhea is to ice cream toppings."

I tell you the truth INRI-gards to the Holy Spirit we don't jerk off, but we do have our special Pottery Wheel Time, but it's still No Homo. We also pull elaborate pranks on people. Because he's a ghost, and it's really fuckin' funny. This one chick jumped out of these high top DC shoes she was wearing. Just jumped…

I tell you the truth, if she can't tell if it's raining or not it should be pretty easy to circumvent this new rule. At least for you guys. I'm Bro Jesus. Rules can lick my fuckin' sack from the back.

I tell you the truth, we shit on "Black Hole Sun" now, but that song and its video were like manna from Havasu during the Plagues of Durst and Stapp.