So there's this DJ who seems very proud of himself for knowing that Cat Power's real name is Chan Marshall, except he pronounces it like Charlie Chan. I am equally proud of myself (if not more so) for knowing that it's actually pronounced "Shawn", and I wish to belittle him in some fashion. How should I proceed?

Can I get Kari Byron to help me with my costume? I'm going as Lady Godiva.

Can I get Kari Byron to help me with my costume? I'm going as Lady Godiva.

Holy shit, I am going to blow my eight-year-old niece's mind.

Holy shit, I am going to blow my eight-year-old niece's mind.

Aw, Star Wars
If they should bar wars
Please let these Star Wars…stay

Aw, Star Wars
If they should bar wars
Please let these Star Wars…stay

PETER MAYHEW OR GTFO.

PETER MAYHEW OR GTFO.

You spelled euphemism two different ways, and neither was correct. I'm strangely tickled by that.

You spelled euphemism two different ways, and neither was correct. I'm strangely tickled by that.

My ex Christine, that effing bitch.

My ex Christine, that effing bitch.

Short for Whitney, prolly? Although that was originally a boys' name anyway.

Short for Whitney, prolly? Although that was originally a boys' name anyway.

I saw a Hot Pockets commercial the other day that claimed they're made from "premium cuts of meat" or some shit. So, have we all just agreed now that words no longer have meaning?

I saw a Hot Pockets commercial the other day that claimed they're made from "premium cuts of meat" or some shit. So, have we all just agreed now that words no longer have meaning?

And if you listen very hard, the Jew will bother you a lot.

And if you listen very hard, the Jew will bother you a lot.

You mean you're not talkin' 'bout the linen, right?