You mean you're not talkin' 'bout the linen, right?

They wouldn't talk like rap people if you wouldn't let them watch the MTV.

They wouldn't talk like rap people if you wouldn't let them watch the MTV.

Assertion: O'Neal is using the term "bogart" incorrectly. Discuss.

Assertion: O'Neal is using the term "bogart" incorrectly. Discuss.

@avclub-f079b53bcfcde2c125cc74ced47bfbcd:disqus : Pursued by a bear?

@avclub-f079b53bcfcde2c125cc74ced47bfbcd:disqus : Pursued by a bear?

Hey, I'm currently in a punk band. This is actually a huge leap forward in terms of relevance.

Hey, I'm currently in a punk band. This is actually a huge leap forward in terms of relevance.

Speaking of garage rock, my garage/punk band is breaking up, and I'm bummed. I mean, just because the drummer has two kids in college and a really stressful job and went bankrupt last year and lost his house, he doesn't have the energy to rock anymore? Pussy.

Speaking of garage rock, my garage/punk band is breaking up, and I'm bummed. I mean, just because the drummer has two kids in college and a really stressful job and went bankrupt last year and lost his house, he doesn't have the energy to rock anymore? Pussy.

Fuck. Now I'm going to have that fucking song in my fucking head for three fucking days. It never fails. FUCK.

Fuck. Now I'm going to have that fucking song in my fucking head for three fucking days. It never fails. FUCK.

They are two very organy bands.

They are two very organy bands.

One time back in college, I was fooling around with this girl, and she asked me if I had names for my breasts. I did not, nor did I have any idea that this was a thing that girls did. (Per my experiences since then, it is not, in fact, a thing that girls generally do.)

One time back in college, I was fooling around with this girl, and she asked me if I had names for my breasts. I did not, nor did I have any idea that this was a thing that girls did. (Per my experiences since then, it is not, in fact, a thing that girls generally do.)

I always read Jingle All the Way in a Robert-Smigel-as-Schwarzenegger voice: "Jeenguhl all zee vay!"

I always read Jingle All the Way in a Robert-Smigel-as-Schwarzenegger voice: "Jeenguhl all zee vay!"

Midnight Express, people. Jon Stewart and Liam Neeson were just talking about it last night.