Get outta here, 4chan! We don't take kindly to you!

He was a big ol' college footballer before he devoted his life to music. That's why his knees and back are all farfarkled.

Sweetie, what if I just stick with TAB? No calories, honey.

Bye bye, Oprah. It would've been great to be "out" on your show yuk yukking it up with all the gals!

I got a hold of some of that Mexican coke one night. Never again. Pure Colombian for me from now on.

I was supposed to play the Joker in the 60s, but they cast that spicy piece of Cuban chorizo, Cesar Romero, instead. Don't worry about it, though, gals. Cesar made it up to me in the commissary men's room one day when I was doing a guest spot on Bewitched.

Look kids, I like a little cushion for the pushin'. He can direct me at a rest stop off exit 142 on the Parkway any time.

Drat! I was this close to getting one of those firsties all you crazy kids on this board are raving about. You can catch AIDS from those, no? Back in my day, we called it the GRIDS, and boy was it fun trying to catch 'em all! Like those Pokemans, am I right?

Look, if I can get away with throwing some fresh Hawaiian jail bait off a balcony then surely Arnold can get over the love child with the Puerto Rican in a mumu.

I would kill to get a voiceover gig on this show. Who wouldn't love to see a Paul Lynde Burger Gag? All we have to settle for our Lynde fix is that crappy imitation on American Dad. Puhhh-leassse! I'd like to take that Seth kid, and slap him around for a while for that one.

And I'm gonna get hapless and funky all over that behind of yours if you don't pipe down you silly goose!

You better bite your tongue, GeoGreg, or I might bite it for ya. I'll sass ya right off a balcony big boy. Now pour me another vodka!

I'm going to be in the sequel as the sassy uncle. I'm going to own the incontinent purse dog named Ruby Sue. She's going to make boomsies all over Kristen Wiig's Prada Bag.