Was the quarry scene word-for-word from Garden State? I kept thinking it was really similar, but I wasn't sure it was being acknowledged.

How many drinks into this day is Lily? Comfortably double-digits, right?

Miley Cyrus's Scarlett Johannson impression was surprisingly strong.

The Mindy Project porn outrage made sense. He was neglecting his partner and claiming he didn't have the energy.

He is cute, isn't he?

I was sick of Casey BEFORE the writer's wanted me to be

It's definitely a respect thing

Mee Coochie, which is convenient for the sake of my joke

Try it again

Micucci es tu cucci

The Paul F Tompkins vehicle already fell through. And Tom Scharpling was also involved. And they don't seem to be friends anymore. And I'm very sad.

HBO would be one thing, but Showtime's just so porny

Tonight, we dine on elf meat!

If Crosby feels a connection to that baby before the end of this season, I'm gonna be pissed.

Are you sure it was in one year? 15 years and a 75% price increase would be pretty normal.

Observe and Report, this

Seth Rogen is the king of shooting people hilariously. Unchallenged.

I'd have trouble saying anyone wasn't on my intellectual level after one date

The fact that he didn't have pants on when they ran into each other really drove the not-his-fault part home.

Yeah, but it was a larf