What is your weekly football ritual? I live in Texas but root for the Patriots (since 1976 - I've seen 1-15 to Super Bowl Champs and every thing in between). I sprung for DirecTV and Sunday Ticket. I usually go upstairs to my Patriots-themed viewing room and turn on the Pats game or RedZone channel until the Pats game…

A little song. A little dance. A little seltzer down your pants.

For some reason, I have to wait until late February for "Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa". Unless a torrent of bits descends over me, somehow. Come on, BBC! There's this thing called the internet, look into it.

Au revoir, Treme.

I really think they may not make the playoffs. Loss to the Ravens, loss to the Bills, two wins by Miami, Ravens beat the Bengals, and the Pats are watching at home. Just as well. They can't win the Super Bowl with a desiccated husk of a team anyway.

I'm not feeling good about this trip to Miami, and I'm really not feeling good about the trip to Baltimore. Both teams are fighting it out for #6 seed and are playing well, and will be at home. The Pats can't lose either one and expect to hold on to the #2 seed, let alone both.

I'm afraid it's Jason Bay all over again. Grandy has never been a huge on-base or average guy. His value is in his slugging, and slugging is tough to come by at CitiField. He's a better outfielder than Bay, and can still run a little. I hope he keeps his head from bashing into outfield walls, which ultimately undid…

I'm going to watch this, finally. I didn't even realize it was Canadian. I go way back to "Seeing Things" in my Canadian supernatural viewing pleasure. Tatiana Maslany is no Louie Del Grande, and that's a good thing.

Well, they have the Valkyrie helmet from The Big Lebowski, so they might as well use it.

If Sidse Babette Knudsen ever joined the cast of Downton Abbey, my head would explode.

Bloody phlegm here as well. Every morning, I blow what look like chunks of decayed zombie tissue out of my nose.

ASHES, PART II THREAD

I'm not thankful for my decision to go to bed at halftime on Monday night. I am thankful the Pats are traveling to Houston this Sunday. I'm making up for my mistake by dropping $75 a pop for high end zone seats at Reliant Stadium this Sunday. Sorry, Mr. Kraft. I hope you enjoy your cut of the bogus "service fee" from…

"Knowing me, Alan Partridge, knowing you, APEX…"

I know! I tweeted pally, it's cool. Or he thinks I'm an asshole, one or the other.

The jump cuts to Johnny and Andy starting at each other in disbelief and horror were the best.

"A large object…it's not a skydiver…OH MY GOD IT'S A TURKEY!"

It's actually worse for Ulrik. He's enemy-zoned. Although I guess enemy-zone might be better, since indifference and not hate is the opposite of love.

Dead Wade. Guy never met a 42-year-old reliever he couldn't sign to a 7-figure guaranteed contract.

It's simple: Cardinal red vs. Curt Schilling Blood red.